Should our kids have busier lives
than we do?
Written by: Elizabet McMunn-Tetangco
Kathy Diaz, a Merced mom of a 7-year-old son and a 3 1/2 -half year old daughter, wakes up every day and does whatever she and her kids feel like doing – at least as long as it isn’t a school day.
“I just want them to have fun and not be tied down,” she explains, “and I notice that this way they’re best friends. They know each other better and they rely on each other.”
Though Diaz’s kids do participate in a few activities, like soccer and swim class, she tries hard not to let regularly scheduled routines direct her children’s lives.
Sam Rocci, mom to 10- year-old twin boys and a 7- year-old daughter, has quite a different experience. “During the school year last year it was insane,” she says. “The kids would get out at 2:20, honor choir kept at least one after school until 3:30, the same with chess club on another day. Theater classes started at 4 and would go until 6:30 between the three kids, so homework was done in the lobby of the theater. Depending on whether there was a show in production – rehearsals from 7-9 – or baseball game – over at 8 – our days did not end until between 8:30 and 9:00. We still managed to sit down for dinner together almost every night, a non-negotiable in my book.”
Two different moms, two different lives, two different sets of kids. In today’s world of hyper-competition from before birth until adulthood, though, it’s hard not to wonder: Is one of these families doing it better? Should children adhere strictly to a regular routine of predetermined classes and activities, or should we, as Diaz prefers, let them do their own thing?
“There is a point when it’s too much, but the problem is that it’s different for each child,” says Adventist Health pediatrician Dr. Michael Gage. “In one family, one child can be in gymnastics and football and swimming and be fine. Another child can have one activity and have it be enough.” This means that, as with so many other parenting issues faced by families today, the rules aren’t hard and fast – and they rely on a parent’s knowledge of his or her child. “The real question for parents to ask is why are we considering these activities,” Gage says. “If it’s ‘cause the neighbors are doing it,’ it’s probably not a good reason. Interest and motivation from the child are what should matter.”
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